Blog

I like to think about my life using the language of tarot. Through that lens, I’ve noticed that some parts of my personality that were once less developed, have now grown. At the same time, other aspects of my character, that once claimed too much of me, have diminished. This is good.

The easiest way for me to think about this evolution is in terms of court cards.

As a young woman, I identified most strongly with the Queen of Cups. This emotional and empathic Queen has claimed the biggest part of me since birth. If I think in terms of tarot, she is the part of me that connects easily with people, spirits, and animals. But structure can be hard for her. Like water, she and I take the shape of the vessels that contain us.

After her, I identified with the Queen of Pentacles. This queen is extremely nurturing. She focuses on family, friends and health. She enjoys her body and revels in what it can be and do. And like her, I have always been interested in creating a better here-and-now. But like her, I can be stubborn and rigid.

Although I was a smart kid who loved to read and write, I didn’t initially identify nearly as much with the mighty Queen of Swords. Her sharpness is so off-putting! Why does she have to be so bristly? And fighting for my own autonomy was hard. 

As a socially awkward kid, I couldn’t see myself as the charismatic Queen of Wands. Charming? Sexy? No way!  I felt odd and different.

But as I matured, things began to change. As a scholar interested in social justice, my Queen of Swords sharpened. Graduate school honed my thinking and analytic skills. Medical anthropology taught me to despise inequities in health and health care. I got stronger and more critical. 

As I began teaching, I became passionate about working with students who would go on to make their own marks in the world.  I found that I could mobilize both their power and mine. Suddenly, I could see myself as the Queen of Wands.

I no longer over-identify with the Queens of Cups and Pentacles. I value my intellectual training and embrace my passion for teaching and inspiring. Perhaps one way to say this is that I employ my Queens of Swords and Wands in the service of the Queens of Cups and Pentacles. 

But I also know that gender is a construct, and the kings are just as much a part of me as are the queens. 

My King of Wands is a visionary, planning, creating and manifesting my creations into this world. I love my King of Pentacles. He brings me joy in mastering my finances and learning to manage them wisely. I’ve spent so many years learning to hone him that I think it’s fun, and I even have a book draft written about becoming friends with Element Money. 

The King of Swords is a bit of a harder sell. At his best, he is sharp and decisive. He can be aloof and even cruel. I see him mostly in my Scorpio nature. He emerges to cut off harmful influences and untrustworthy associates.

The King of Cups is also difficult for me. I tend to conflate him too much with the queen. However, I see him in my dislike of telling harsh truths that will lead to conflict. So he’s there, too. As I grow as a spiritual being and a Diviner, these court cards will become more balanced—some stronger, some softer. I hope this process will continue until I die. Some day I hope to see clearly the balance of all the kings and queens in me. It will be powerful and enriching to deepen my understanding of how this journey has brought me to a greater expression of my unique self.

Join my email list at sabrinamariechase.com and find tarot tutorials, videos, posts, and live sessions on these platforms:

• YouTube: @sabrinamariechase
• Instagram: @sabrinamariechase
• Facebook: @sabrinamariechase